I made this for you*

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This morning I woke up singing Again by Janet Jackson. SO! MANY! FEELINGS! Janet was one of the first CDs I ever bought (I don’t remember if it was this or Mariah Carey MTV Unplugged, but let’s be honest, there were thousands of adolescent hours devoted to both, dancing around my bedroom and trying to decipher their lyrics.) Also, her hair on that cover is yet another inspiration I didn’t even realize I was carrying in my heart.

[Falling down a Janet Jackson wormhole. Listening to the whole album. Feeling all the feelings. Trying not to pass judgment on myself or 1993, knowing that 2013 will be equally awful to me in another twenty years. Guilty pleasures FTW.]

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Sewing clothes. Wearing things. Too Much Frosting, Not Enough Cake. I have this desire to sew some unstructured tops, the type that all those fashion bloggers wear over their skinny jeans. But…I can’t figure out whether I’d actually wear them. But it reminded me of this lovely article about sewing clothes you want to wear on a daily basis. (Also, since starting the Wear Every Dress project, I’m casting a more critical eye on my entire wardrobe and the holes in it.)

Serious Question: will it become normal to quote the Anchorman memoir in addition to the original movie and the sequel?

THIS WOMAN. You’ve maybe already seen this on social media, since it was EVERYWHERE yesterday. My feelings about THIS are so much more complex and mature than my feelings about Janet Jackson (which I’m still listening to, btw, and am continually distracted by – random horn sections!) and every time I watch it I’m choking back happy tears, knowing how much work it is to choose delight over fear.

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Also: a lovely writer writing beautiful words about the process of writing. There are a lot of life parallels in there.

But there are wins—mostly tiny, and sometimes completely inconsequential to anyone but the writer

I had a surreal session with my counselor last night. We were both naming the ways in which I seem to have made progress, but I’m still just sitting back, staring at it, like, “Huh.” And I’m afraid to CLAIM anything as a victory, because there are so many things that are still broken, and now we’re getting to this point of reforming the theology underneath my assumptions. Like, separating my double vision – which is a constant and which I can not influence – from my emotional maturity and general well-being – which I can influence and which seems to be improving after a long year of hard work.

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*If I’m being honest, I made it for me. I’m just sharing it with you because I’m an extrovert and verbal processing is helpful.

[Images from my new sketch book, where I’ve been playing around with possible quilt layouts and falling in love with coloring and geometry all over again.]

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